Bad Blogger

 

To say I’ve been a bad blogger would be the mother of all understatements. To be honest, when I got my knee injury I didn’t really feel like it for a while. Then, and I’m very happy to say, my life got in the way. I was going to parties, hanging out with my friends and spending time with my amazing boyfriend. Blogging kinda took a back seat, but now I have more time, becauseee its …… SUMMER Smile .

And as if that wasn’t enough, my knee is feeling fine *fingers crossed*.  So,I’ve joined a gym and have been going almost every day. I’m feeling amazing, eating is going much better. I’m trying to not calorie count and just go with the flow. Anyway, I shall report more on what I’ve been getting up to in future posts. But for now I shall just show you some eats from today.

I was up early (well, ish) for a morning spin class. To fuel up I had a bowl of oatmeal with melon. I’m still working up having actual milk in my oats, but, you know, baby steps Smile

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I may have also snagged some melon on my way out the door.

Now for the exercise, shall we do some comparisons ? Haha.

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   Morning                 After 45 minutes spinning,       All clean Smile
                                   45 minutes epilitical and 20
                                   minutes weights.
     

 

I was planning on having a snack after the gym but I was so hungry I needed lunch. Enter, sainsburys.

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I have been craving sushi for aaages, and as I have now learn… One should always honour their cravings Smile. And the powerade, well, my electrolytes will thank me. Oooo, then I had some raspberries, but somehow I managed to finish the punnet…

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                                         Now they’re all gone Sad smile

Ho hum, I managed to bag myself some juicy nectarines at the market. 8 for £1…. Yes please !!

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                                               Nom nom.

For dinner I made myself one of Emma’s creations… Cheezy quinoa baked mushrooms.

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                                                 Holy Yum

Obviously I ate A LOT more than that today, but I won’t bore you with the rest. I will be back soooon Smile

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WIAW

Thankyou for all your comments on my last post. I took your advice and swapped my run for a doctors appointment (I really don’t think this is a fair swap haha). He says I have “Anterior Knee Pain”, which, from what I can tell is basically a posh way of saying my knee is hurting and not actually a diagnosis at all. Anyway, the jist of the meeting was that I should do no exercise (except walking) until it stops hurting, elevate it, ice it and take ibuprofen. So, thats what I’m doing. Its pretty funny actually, in every lesson at school you’ll find me sitting there with my leg on a chair and an ice pack on it. But hey, its doctors orders!

I’m not gonna lie, not running yesterday was hard, and I struggled a lot with the guilt of no exercise. But today I made a real effort to keep on track – wouldn’t want to miss out on WIAW !! Speaking of WIAW, this is what I ate:

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                                                       cb&j oats. Nom, I love breakfast Smile

P1030053 Far to many of these… note to self, get over addiction !!

Lunch was very nice actually, a quorn cottage pie, didn’t quite look like the box tho :/

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Then for some epic fruit action:

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For some snacking in the afternoon I wanted only 2 things, popcorn and these (I say these because I’ve had about 5 today)…

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Dinner was chilli con carne with potato wedges, kinda nice but I feel very ill now. Meat doesn’t seem to like me and I don’t like it. But my mother thinks it’s an ED thing and makes me eat it (same reason why I’m not allowed to be vegan) eugh Sad smile

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I tried to disguise the taste with cucumber, it didn’t work. So, that is what I ate Wednesday. No exercise (rawrrr ) but I did go and visit a gym. Can’t wait to join!

   

How much do you pay for your gym membership? This one will be about £20 a month for full use of gym and classes (no pool tho).

Do you ever have guilty feelings if you are unable to exercise (eg. With an injury)? I’m struggling with this right now Sad smile. Trying desperately not to restrict. Words of wisdom are welcome !!

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Help!

Rawrrr… Did you miss me? Well, I’m not going to lie, I’m in PAIN!! After my morning run on Sunday I felt fine, but come the afternoon my knee was in agony. Seriously, horribly painful to walk. I thought (well, hoped) the pain would’ve subsided by now, but alas, its hasn’t. Its still painful to walk Sad smile . Has anyone got any advice as to what this might be?  Its a pain my the right kneecap, whenever I bed it, I haven’t been running for very long so I don’t see how it could be caused by repetitive damage, gaaaa I just want it to go away. But for now, I am making do with this: P1030050

Makeshift ice pack holder (there’s an ice pack under there)!

Anyway, after my lunch I decided to try Katie’s Breakfast Pizzert , but I ended up using Emma’s recipe. Well, before I show you it, remember, it WAS delicious. But, well, it didn’t really hold together, not sure what I did wrong…. suggestions?

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Strawberries and Cashew butter…. NOM (btw, I have already fallen in love with cashew butter, how have I lived without it for so long?). After that was when the real pain started, I walked into town and could barely make it back for this:

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Beans on toast, yummerz Smile

The run itself was amazing (as per). Did 6 miles with 4 x 400m intervals and 400m jogs again. Wow… it was fab.

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And max HR 170… not bad for a sunday morning haha.

One last thing to show you, I have been loving this snack as of late. Its Katie’s Strawberry Shortcake Cupcake. Ermm…. yum, smothered in cashew butter and whipped cream, whats not to LOVE? Thankyou Katie for another amazing recipe Smile

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What’s your favourite type of nut butter? Mine’s cashew atm, but I’m pretty sure thta could change with each new pot I buy!

What do you think I should do about my knee? Continue running with caution or just stop altogether?

And don’t forget, Erin is having a giveaway… not to be missed !

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Why I Don’t Like Wimbledon Fair

 

Just a quick post as I’m going to bed soon. So tired and I’m hoping to get up early so I can run without being jeered at by the Wimbledon Fair-goers (there is currently the annual fair on Wimbledon common, needless to say I am not a fan, and I don’t like the way there are now caravans parked over my running track ! ).

Anywayys, I shall quit complaining. On Friday morning I was lured out of bed at the prospect of this:

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That would be toffee yoghurt, LOTS of fruit Smile, frosties and a lil’ whipped cream.

 

 

 

 

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Oats – Plain and simple. But then I loaded them up with peanut butter and agave (what can I say… I’m just not a “plain” sorta girl haha)

 

 

 

The rest of the was fun, got to leave school at 12.15 Open-mouthed smile…. I am loving my free periods at the moment haha. I went and sussed out a new gym (the YMCA), looked pretty good, 12 classes a day? YES PLEASE! So excited to be joining soon.

I came home and was itching for a run, so I thought I’d do an easy 4 miles before lunch. Very enjoyable … even if I did have to avoid a few caravans. Standard post run photos :

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Oh lovely post run glow, how I have missed you!

After lunch ( which was packed up because I didn’t realise I would be allowed to leave school before lunch) I showered and packed to go to my boyfriends house (he lives about 40 minutes train ride away, but we make it work Smile ) and stayed there for the night. The night included A LOT of food (there a family of 5 boys!) and I loved it, no pics sorry, they don’t know about the blog. Dinner was baked potato’s, chicken marinated in basil oil and broccoli (I FORCED them to eat their broccoli – even though they are 13,17,18,21 and 25, they still gotta eat their greens! haha). Then I had smarties, a chocolate chip cookie, a fairy cake and some midnight snacking of roasted red pepper soup, NOMMM.

Chilled at Joe’s (my bf) house this morning, did some stretching and didn’t go for a run as I had set today aside as a “rest” day, but boy did that take some doing! It was so sunny out I was just dying to go and run in the sunshine, but I had a nice leisurely walk in town insted. And I bought some CASHEW BUTTER, I haven’t had it in AGESSSS ! But I used to love it so I can’t wait to try it tomorrow. Smile

Right, now I’m off for a quick snack then its a nice hard run tomorrow morning. I am so PUMPED for it haha (yes, I know, I’m a looooooser Smile with tongue out). And I shall tell you what I think of the cashew butter tomorrow. Night all xx

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But… You said you were back?

Okay okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t really come back, but I guess that’s kinda a good thing. I’m am doing SO much better now… seriously Smile

Recently did my AS exams and now i’ve just got about 5 weeks of work and studying to go until i’m freeeee. I can’t wait. I don’t really want to recount what’s been happening, it hasn’t be bad as such, I just think I need to start living my life in the present not the past. All I’ll say is that I still very much have Anorexia, unfortunately its not going anywhere. But I wouldn’t call myself “ill” in any way, and nor would I say I have been letting it affect my life in any major way (except over exams… but i’m trying to forget about that).

And, I have big news……

I GOT MY PERIOD BACK Smile I’m so happy that I can be classed as healthy now. And I’ve been cleared for exercise, which I have taken up with much vigour (not too much mind you). I have re-discovered my love for running and am planning on joining a gym in the very near future. My doctors and parents are ok with this so long as there is a “contract” which details how much I’m allowed to do each week. Fine by meee Smile

Anyways, on to today, I woke up this morning (at 6.30 for school *yawn*) and immediately wanted to go running. Alas, I had to get through an ENTIRE day before I could find a spare moment to go. But go I went.

Breakfast got me out of bed if i’m honest (betcha never thought i’d say that! haha)

 

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A yoghurt mess :
Bottom layer: Raspberries, Strawberries, Blueberries, Melon
Middle Layer: Vanilla Yoghurt
Top Layer: (added after the photo) Coco-pops mega munches (I know, I’m sorry, but we all have to relive those childhood days sometimes!)

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The Culprit Surprised smile

After school I came home and a package was awaiting me…
Inside was my new HEARTRATE WATCH Smile I was so psyched. Well obviously I had tp try it out immediately!
I was only planning on doing a 4 mile run but somehow that turned into a 6 miler with intervals!

The Run (1 hour 7 minutes):
2 miles jog/run
4 x 400m sprints with 400m jog inbetween
3 mile run (Was going to be 2 mile but I just couldn’t stop!)

I realise this may not seem like much to all you amazing fitness people, but to me it was quite an accomplishment (considering its only about my 4th run in 2 years!).

And now I’m off to have some cake because its yummy and according to my watch I have 430kcal to eat back. Hey, I’m not complaining!

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                                                              Hello old friend Smile with tongue out 

I WILL be back soon. Feel free to comment.

Byee xxx

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Update

 

Sorry I haven’t posted for so long. I’ve been really busy with school and work and life in general haha. Not much has happened recently, I’ve been put on antidepressants but thats about it. My parents are so angry about it, they’re more the sort of “get on with it” type of people, as apposed to the “lets talk about it/ use medication” type. I don’t really care about being out on them, if they make me feel better then i’m all for it. Problem is my parents think I basically exaggerate my anorexia when I go to my treatment team. In truth, they couldn’t be more wrong. I don’t show them how I really feel and then I tell the truth to my team. I see their dilemma but it makes me upset that they think I would put on such a serious mental illness.
Anyway, onto happier things…. oh wait. Sorry, this post is gonna be pretty dark. I’m having a really hard time right now, with everything. I’m now the heaviest i’ve been since i’ve begun to gain weight and in truth, I feel crap. I feel really big and I keep comparing myself to everyone else. Eugh, its so horrible, my team say this is the hardest part (after choosing to gain weight to begin with). I’m now at almost 19 bmi and i’m still waiting for my periods to magically appear. I hate the whole process and my ED thoughts are dominating a huge part of my mind. I lost a bit of weight this week and it worries me how much I liked it. I don’t want to relapse but I think it will happen, just the way I’m feeling right now I think its inevitable. I’ve got to this weight twice and then lost 4kg in the space of 2 weeks both times. I really don’t want it to happen again but I just think it  will. And as if that wasn’t enough, one of my really good friends has essentially ditched me – well she ignores me a lot and is basically in complete control of our relationship. She came out to a show with me and my dad and my other friend and my dad commented afterwards about how she just hogged my other friend and cut me out of the conversation completely. I guess I’ve just become used to it but he’s right, she dominates everything –which would be fine if I was still the loud outgoing girl I was before ED, but I’m not. I’m quite quiet now, I like going out but I don’t have to, I’ve changed a lot and I guess our friendship doesn’t really work now that I have. That’s completely my fault, but I still feel bad.
Apart from all that I’ve been ok, I got a prize at prize giving for my GCSE results which was awesome Smile Haven’t really done much else to be honest, just milling around and working. A couple of weeks ago I went up to a conference in nottingham for 4 days and I didn’t eat once, I know it’s not good and I was taken to A&E with hypoglycaemia and low white blood cell count, its weird how bad things can get in such a short space of time. Anyway, new year, new time. I’ll post my new year’s resolutions soon  Smile

I have a few foodie pics:

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A casual snack : Maple sweetened Greek Yoghurt and an orangeP1020870

My new obsession: Yoats (yoghurt and oats). LOVE <3

I shall be posting again soon, feel free to comment.

Byeee for now <3

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A Busy Week

Sorry about being MIA for the past week, I’ve just got back to school and had a lot of work etc. to do. I think I’m just getting back into the swing of things and I’ve found myself with a bit of free time to so a post. Smile  How are you all?

So yeh, my trip to see my family was really good, and a nice break. When we got back I went back to my mum’s house as she and my stepdad were back from Egypt ( If I haven’t already said my parents are divorced and my mum has married again and had a sister with her new husband – but I’ll do a full post on that some other time. ). I barely had time to get settled then it was time to go to CAHMS and get weighed, I gained 0.3 kg (just under a pound) in the last week. Not great tbh, but unfortunately ED was bugging me. Going on  about how it was too much blah blah blah. I didn’t restrict but for the next day or so it was tough, and it showed. Later that day I met with my friend Grace, I love her to pieces and she recently moved to boarding school so I couldn’t wait to spend the day with her. It was fabby to see her again and our friendship just fell back into place. That evening we went to her friends house and had such a good time and we got….. CHINESE TAKEOUT! Oh mi gosh, it was such a challenge, especially having gained weight. But I did it and I really enjoyed myself – and I had the chance to meet all of Grace’s friends which was fab.

Anyway, skip forward a few days and I was off again – this time to Switzerland to see some old friends of my stepdad, but they have a son my age who I’d met a few times. Well, we immediately hit it off and spent the whole weekend like we we’d know each other forever – it was so great! We went out on both nights to the pub where I developed a love of baileys and realised that in Switzerland I am somewhat of a beauty. Haha, it was pretty fun to have all the boys swooning over me Smile And Oscar (the boy I was staying with) was so nice at pointing out that I look amazing and shouldn’t even think about losing more weight (obviously he knew about my ED). I was really sad to leave but I really hope to go back soon.

And then it was back to school again… such a letdown if I’m honest. The work is already piling up and on top of that I have a cold and had to come home at lunch today because I felt so terrible! Luckily I’ve managed to get some of my homework done but it’s still not great. We just had a firework show in my garden with my family – so fun, my little sister (she’s 5) can be so cute. She was really scared but trying to be all macho Smile with tongue out

Anyway, on to some eats of the past week :

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              Some wholewheat spaghetti with peas and a sweet chilli Philadelphia sauce

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Singapore noodles from m&s “fuller for longer” range

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Lunch today : Oatmeal with melted raspberries and blueberries. Yum Smile

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Frozen Berries with fromage frais and splenda

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Pudding ! – A custard chouz bun. Omg so yummy,

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These are da bomb. Seriously, try them if you can ! These are like my go to comfort food. Do you have any foods that make you feel so much better?

 

Thanks for reading guys. Hope your all doing ok Smile Hopefully I shall be posting again very soon as my weekend plans are pretty non existant right now (can’t wait to just chill ).

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